on the cuff: my friend New York

With New York coined (by some) as the “Mecca” of Food, Fashion, Theater, Art…. this makes a strong case that New York is “best city” in the world. At least a nomination! When can you roll out of bed, catch a musical (evening), eat dinner, then dessert and then go to a bar for late night drinks… Not many places offer this. Not many places have activities open this late. While I have tried and failed to find things to do at certain times of the day, New York is still the best city in the world. The argument will always be, “Every big city offers similar things, these things happen everywhere!” but this is a fool’s remark, more importantly a remark said by an out-of-towner who sees Broadway shows in San Francisco, eats at Bobby Flay’s chain restaurants and occasionally wears their, “I Love NY” t-shirt….

You’ve heard of the “energy” in New York, and believe it or not it’s there. It’s there when the busiest day of the week is Thursday, it’s there when you finished drinking and want to do more, but work a few hours later, and it’s also there when you step into an art gallery and all around you are “phonies!”

However, another issue at hand is, “New York” is also one of the worst cities in the world. It’s well known that the quality of life in New York revolves around you’re: job, social circle, location of apartment, size of apartment, and connections you have. No lover of NYC will ever say that NYC is one of the most relaxing, and easiest places to live. NYC is flat out difficult to make it professionally and personally and f#@$, the weather’s shit. New York is one of the “worst weather” cities in the US. NYC ranks in the top 5!!!!

NYC also has a few of those places that the cops try to avoid in the evenings, and more importantly, tell you to get out. While the “Harlem Renaissance” and “Yankees,” made/make Harlem and the Bronx a desirable place to live, they’re not. When you’re on your way to work in most places, you’re travelling by car, and you don’t have to worry about homeless people on the subways, and/or sexual harassment (which has been increasingly become an issue).

The question at hand…and will be there till the end of time, similar in importance to: “does art reflect reality…?” is… “Is New York the best city in the world?” Answer: Yes! It’s the best, the worst, the most exciting, most opportunities, dangerous, the scariest, and lastly the only place I want to be.

to the streets…

Fashion Week has nearly arrived in NYC. With the tents almost fully built, everyone is ready and waiting to desparately try to pull all their connections for the best event in NYC! What people sometimes fail to recognize is that there’s so much fashion, walking and talking throughout the city. While every woman and man “can” clearly identify with the stick like models, with perfect hair, pimple-less face, and all above 5′10 that walk the Cat-Walk, I wouldn’t look farther than most neighborhoods in the city for the best fashion. Here’s a few pictures: 

Two different shoes! Harry Potter-esque

Roadkill

Near Penn Station across the street from Staples at 1pm on a weekday, I was about to cross the street when I noticed a bird lying on the ground. I’ve seen roadkill before, but only a few times have I seen the animal nearly alive and about to become imprinted or embossed in the ground. It was a rock dove and it was lying on it’s left wing, its head was moving and it’s right wing was moving very slightly. Over half of it’s body was in decent condition. No one stopped, no one looked around. Animal rights activits might have had a fit, but hell it’s a “pidgeon” or Rock dove… No one cares. This is a small reminder how “big cities” or maybe just NYC works. When you stop to look around, you’re a “Tourists” when you ignore everything, you’re a “New Yorker.”

On a side note, I’ve strangely seen a Mouse waddle around right before dying in Union Square on 2 legs and a pidgeon that looked to have broken it’s own neck in Brooklyn.

“No School,” Thank You Spencer Haywood

The NBA All-Star game is coming up next weekend, and Spencer Haywood will be honored. He is the man responsible for breaking down the “College” or lack there of “Barrier.” When he wanted to stop playing ball with the College kids, and he decided to play with the pros. However, there was a rule that didn’t allow this. The rule stated that your class has to have graduated. 

Here’s the link, take a look.

I don’t have an issue with the fact that Basketball players do not graduate college (some are F!$%@#$ idiots), but the fact that he is “the” celebrated man for making this happen is absurd! The idea of “College” is not to get better competition in Sports. But the NBA and all its viewers will praise the man.

From the article about Haywood there’s a list of all the All-Stars this year that benefited because of Spencer Haywood’s stand, “Of the 24 All-Stars this year, 21 of them came into the league under the rule that Haywood changed. LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett and Dwight Howard came directly from high school. Carmelo Anthony and Chris Bosh spent one year in college. Dwyane Wade played two seasons at Marquette.” I’m not suggesting that NBA players need to get an education, but how can you (NBA) celebrate a man who is telling all asipring B-Ballers that Haywood is the man that paved the “opportunity” to help you get out of college early, as long as you got game.

Every single person that celebrates the “Man who sued the NBA” is taking a serious jab at college, even high school! I think soon, there will be a guy who says, “I can be president…” and then he’ll sue the government for all the qualifications to run for office, and the world will celebrate him 40-100 years later, at a NBA game that is.

Fashion (too far) forward

NYC is very cold in the February, and with Punxsutawney Phil not seeing his shadow, we’re in for more beloved winter weather that is sure to be …. miserable. When looking out the window on a sunny winter day, you couldn’t tell that the temperature was bone chillingly cold. You might think you could run, play tennis, or walk out of your shoebox of an apt and not wear a proper coat. “Good luck!” as in Taken said by one of the 10 Marcos…

Some New Yorkers know the weather and prepare. Check out this person with a big hat!

This reminds me of a small chiuaua humping the persons neck or head…in a doggystyle way… Is this stylish? Probably… just because most things that are weird and outlandish begin as “ground-break, earth-shattering, fashion firsts,” or we can just throw out a “couture and lavish” and we got something! But, does this look good/decent/inspiring/interesting? No, minus the chiuauas that are ass-minded!

An Authentic New Era!

NYC in action….New Era stickers destroy the “clean” MTA Subways of “the city that never sleeps.”

Why do people keep the New Era stickers on their hats? When buying a hat…of any kind it is apparently crucial to buy a New Era hat, and make sure everyone knows that it’s an official “New Era” cap. It’s not the hats you buy on the streets, nor made by Nike or Reebok, but it’s a F#$%@#% New Era cap!!!

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that men…love the hats, but might want to return them later. Like a woman hiding the tag on the dress she bought for a few hours of fun. Or maybe the hat is a sign of wealth (in some cultures)! I’m sure both are wrong and some stupid celebrity started it.

Fads suck, and more importantly New Era caps suck! Yes, they indeed do, but for those that disagree….the New Era sticker on a sweaty, nasty cap may be as important as “sagging” has become…But that’s cool, right?!

Fads of the 2000’s – New Era sticker, sagging, high school musical, tivo, blogging, ringtones, Air Force Ones, craigslist, crocs, American idol, Wikipedia, ebay, DDR, William Hung (do we really like him!!! Really?), and talking in ONLINE SLANG to name a few.

the tragic legion….

When I heard there was a movie with Angels, I was pretty excited. When I found out Paul Bettany was starring in the film, I knew I had to see it. Truth be told, I saw the movie, and while I loved Bettany (Peter Court in Wimbledon – but don’t spread that around) as Geoffrey Chaucer in A Knights’ Tale and one of his best performances in Gangster #1, Legion was a terrible movie.

Legion is about an unborn child who can save humanity when God sends Angels to destroy the world. Archangel Michael played by Bettany is the protagonist and leader of the human resistance…set in New Mexico.

Some movie reviews talk about bad movies and then how much worse Legion was, and it really didn’t deserve it. Here are some reasons why it’s not Paul Bettany’s fault the movie sucked.

1. Tyrese was a main character (well he was in 2Fast2Furious…!!$!)
2. Movie was set in New Mexico
3. The diner was called, “Paradise Falls (remember….UP. “Cross your heart…Cross it!!!”)
4. The Angels could not withstand bullets
5. Zero plot!
6. I’m still not sure how it ended….

Please do not watch this movie, especially if you like Religious themed action movies similar to Constantine. The movie lacks soooooo much; I’m going to pretend there were worse things to go with my time.

The only only only upside was the crazy older woman in the trailers. Here are some great quotes from her.

“I said your fucking baby is going to fucking burn…”

“Shut up you stupid fucking cunt, all you fucking do is complain.”

An Education on Carey Mulligan

The film An Education starring Peter Sarsgaard and Carey Mulligan is about a young school girl on the outskirts of London who dreams of going to Oxford to study Literature, and desperately want “excitement” in her life. Her days are filled with books, writing, Latin, music… her vices are cigarettes, and anything “French” (She even gets scolded for listening to French music by her father played by Alfred Molina).  She meets an older man and her life begins to twist and evolve around the illusions of his.

I wanted to see this movie, because Carey Mulligan is reported to be the next best thing. She is. Think of her as a younger, Audrey Tatou, cute, lively, gorgeous at times, and eager to learn/live/experience.  The one issue I have about her, is she reminds me too much of Emily Watson/Emily Mortimer supporting type actor, almost their twin, but younger and slimmer.

Is An Education worth seeing? Yes.

Why? Carey Mulligan!

The plot is fairly good, but I’ve seen it done in a funnier way in Just Looking, because that main character matures because of “People doing it”…not fancy cars, paintings or the passion of being a Francophile. While Peter Sarsgaard is closer to decent than terrible, he doesn’t strike or make me believe he’s a playboy (even likeable). When Jenny Miller (Carey Mulligan) can’t seem to get out of the house, David Goldman (Peter Sarsgaard) somehow charms Jenny’s parents and the go off and have interesting adventures. How does he do it you ask? No idea? There’s a corny joke, alcohol splashed in there…followed by a firm handshake and “Persuasion 101” is over.

The problem with the movie is that we know what will happen, lows, highs, very low, and super high…a great formula for a film, but the way this film in particular unfolds is too planned out, too rehearsed.  Ultimately, Carey Mulligan drives this movie, she owns it, she’s the reason it’s making money, and lets be honest, “do we really like Peter Sarsgaard?”

Verdict? See this movie because Carey Mulligan is amazing. Also this is an indie-type film (however it doesn’t feel like one) therefore it has that potential to be “the best movie ever made…ever,” heaven forbid we throw 2012 in category.

David’s plates

There’s advertising and marketing that creates a bit of thought, creates sales, makes people do things, and we’re not just talking about subliminal ads. Why was there a long line at Wendy’s on 34^th street at 3pm? It was because everyone was getting those spicy chicken nuggets that were in a commercial…btw they were pretty good.

I find it pretty stupid when a store takes a work of art and bastardizes it. This sculpture of David in NYC with a plate isn’t even funny. Is it supposed to make David PC? And people wonder why there are so many business shutting down!

Bronson Film – MUST SEEEEEEEE!!!!!

The sadistic, celebrity obsessed, “Most violent prisoner in Britain” is Charles (Charlie) Bronson, and is played by Tom Hardy in “Bronson.” Yes, Tom Hardy as in “Handsome Bob” from RocknRolla, the small, scrawny next to Gerard Butler guy. He also put on 3 stone of muscle for the role, and transformed his image by doing 2,500 press-ups a day for 5 weeks!

Bronson is a great movie, not just because I’m scared that the real-life Bronson will come to my house and kick my ass (he’s in Solitary confinement…for 25+ years!), but because absolutely anything and everything goes with this character. Remember when you were in school and there was a bully that tried to beat up everyone at school, and probably did horrible things to animals? Now imagine what might be going through that kid’s head, add a bottle of tequila, ambient, weed, and bring it to life and you have Bronson! He smokes, spits, fucks, murders, create art and hungers for fame. Did I mention he is an award-winning poet?

The music gives the movie a great “feel good feeling” like what Natalie Cole might bring out of you, all the while Bronson is taking peoples’ heads apart. There are two scenes where he puts on his “armor” which is some kind of paint or cream, is naked and goes berserk on the authority while the music slows down and pulsates with every punch.

To give you an idea about how insane this guy/wonderfully played character is, is that he goes to prison for 7 years for stealing less than 50 pounds in 1974. Prison is a hotel which he can “hone his skills.” Then, because of all the killing, hostage takeovers, yes! HOSTAGE TAKOVERS! He is kept there for another 30+ years, he is moved over 120 times in prison because of his issues with inmates, authorities…etc. He’s the reason the “death penalty” exists. Think a prisoner costs a lot of taxpayers’ money? He’s caused 10+ million dollars worth of damage. And!!! He’s still alive…writing poetry and creating art.

The true beauty in this film is that everything Bronson does as crazy as it is, his doings are portrayed (very believably) in the process of creating art. His art mainly centers on “fame” similar to Miss Luvin with my Muffin, Lady Gaga. The havoc he creates for society is his masterpiece. This is a GGGGGreat movie, and if you can’t find it in your theaters, download it!